If someone asked me 18 months ago if I would be working in IT by now, I would have told them maybe, but I’m not holding my breath. Well March 25, 2009 marks the first year that I have been working in the Information Technology industry, as a Software Engineer (as my employer would say, I see myself more as an Internet Application Developer), but that is just a title.

I suppose it has not been the best of rides, but then nothing in my life ever has been. I’ve been through just about everything as a young child, being not really the smartest kid in the class I was always the subject of jokes and humiliation, it got that bad that most days I did not want to go to school. Thankfully with supportive parents and family I went to school tried my best and sort of turned out OK. I now hold a Bachelor Degree of Internet Computing and I suppose that would make me smarter than some people.

Skip forward a few years and I find myself in a position that I have never been in. I was working in retail and coming to the end of my studies at University. I graduated in the December but started to look for more permanent employment in the Internet Development and Design area of Information Technology in the November of 2007. I got plenty of interviews and saw many companies that I would have loved to work at, but it was not until the March of 2008 that someone actually offered me a position. Actually by this point I was running out of money, as I was not getting as many shifts that I got previously and now that I look at it I really did jump in without asking enough questions. I was sitting in a room across the table from a possible future employer when I was told
“Derek, I want to offer you this position.” At that moment I think a mixture of feelings had kicked in. Relief that someone is offering me a position, Worried as I really didn’t know at that point what the hell I was doing and at the same time I could only think “should I say yes or think about it more?”, as this was the first time someone had offered me a job. I knew that this was a developer position and was confident enough to know that I could do the tasks that were outlined in the job advertisement. So after a few minutes I said yes, and accepted the position. But it is still playing on my mind, was that the right position.

The first week that I started I was trying to learn the ropes, make friends with the people I was working with and still trying to do the best that I could. I’m not going to lie, it was hard and I do not think that anything could have prepared me for this. By the end of the first month I was still as nervous as the first day. At this point I was considering giving up the position and leaving, but after a discussion with one of my closest friends I decided to stay a bit longer and see how it goes.

In May of 2008, we moved office to iLab (a technology incubator at Toowong). At first it seemed better than it had previously been as there were now more people working on projects. But there were still many issues, when the move happened we started a separate company. Now I’m not a business type person, really I could not care less if I worked in an office or in a garage at someone’s house, although an office is always a better environment. Out of all the people in the office I didn’t dislike anyone, but didn’t feel that I would get along with anyone if the arguments over curved corners and gradients continued. I was again finding myself at a point where I did not want to work there. By now there were other issues happening outside of the work environment so quitting was not really an option that was on top of the list of best things to do. So I did raise a few of the concerns that I had, but it seemed that it was falling on deaf ears from where I was. Now my boss would tell me that I was offered the job because he felt that I was the best person for the position. To me that meant absolutely nothing at that point. I was working from 8am to 5pm Monday to Friday, but nothing seemed to be getting done. I tried not to let it get to me and just kept doing the best I could. The worst that could happen would be I would find myself unemployed, but at this point I was heading back towards a state of depression. I came close to making the appointment to see someone about it when it was another person I was working with saw what was happening and help me voice my opinions, but I was still unsure how that would help. The next week things seemed to be more stable and I was starting to look forward to having my 22nd birthday.

The project that has been started when I started in March was just about on the finish line (after the numerous amounts of changes that had come to light after all the testing had been completed) and another had started to be developed. Although at first this second project seemed to be more interesting it was not. There was no development process, I was trying to learn a version control process, and the project management tools I was supposed to be using was up and down more than a yo-yo in the 70s. I found it hard to do anything to keep track of what was going on. There were issues with minor things like a prefix to the subject of emails to major problems of people not communicating with the rest of the team. At this point I was fed up with what was going on and my care factor had reached the lowest point I have ever had it reach. I could not care if I got hit by a bus as I crossed the street. I was now starting to look for an alternative to working there. I was unhappy and stressed and felt that I will never be able to show my true talents with the amount of conflict in that place. I was now spending nearly all of my spare time looking for a new job. I even considered going back to working in retail and giving up on a career in Information Technology. By now I had had the most depressing birthday I have has since my 18th birthday when only a handful of people showed up and most left before the cake. I should stop reminding myself of that. (I got that drunk that night I spent the next day in my room sleeping and in tears, now I sound like an emotional wreck).

I had made it through the first six months, barely, but still did not know if I would make it to the full year. The next few weeks did get quite bad. I got to a point that there was a 99% change that my boss would come back from his trip to India and find my resignation sitting on the desk. I like making websites, so much that I made it my career (good or bad thing, I have not decided yet) but when someone tells you via another person that your no longer going to be going “X” as “X” is going to now be done by another team, it kind of hits hard. I have seen people in my family and even close family friends have their day-to-day activities given to someone else and it has been hard on them. I had only just got use to doing what I was doing and it seemed that was happening to me. I was talked into not leaving at that point by other people that worked with me, but I don’t know if that was the right decision.

It was not until November that had had become part of the group that was working on the product that would be funding my future pays. When I looked at it, there was that much to do I saw no way that it could be done by Christmas. As much as I tried by Christmas there was that much left to do that I felt it would never be done. Again I began to wonder why I was putting myself through this and not jumped ship before.

Still at this point there was no true structure to how things were to be done and a few people had left the office and were not coming back. Nothing was going to stop me from having a break over Christmas though. I did, and did not return to work until after New Years. Still nothing had been done that I saw as relevant to the development process. I took a lot of hard work and bugger all sleep to get the product to the point that it could be shown to other people. There was a smaller group now building this product which may have made it easier to manage and develop, but I feel there are still too many personal opinions taking control over more practical ones. February was basically a solid month of development and by March it was ready to show to people and the office took a trip to Sydney to ad:tech to launch the product.

So that is basically that is my first year in Information Technology and there are a few things that I want to aim for in the next year. I am going to just do what people want and not ask questions. I am sick of arguments and I still do not feel like my opinion counts, even if it is a minor thing. I want to make more websites, not just Javascript powered applications, even if that means I make them in my own time for no reason at all. It is my passion and that is what I want to do.